Guidance Counselor shops at Sears

I would recommend you pick up Flatulence as a major and choose some classes in Laziness along the way you pot-smoking reefer-junkie, for I am a guidance-counselor who has chosen to work with kids in a high school, guh like OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF ???

I'm a guidance counselor, I wear these glasses because my eyes are kind of weak, and contacts bother my sensitive pair of peepers - I need some "specks" do you have a problem with that ???

I AM A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR

I AM *THE* GUIDANCE COUNSELOR !!!

For you have no choice but to deal with me the man with the real office-desk at this institution, open every day, except in the summer-time...

This shirt is Chaps, these khaki's are Dockers, you wanna "front" ???
(I heard one of the kids in the hall say that, is it still "hip" ??? )

I got them at Sears with my wife, ok? with her you know, the two of us, right?
It's just me and her in this big store with great clothing and home appliances, and I'm just thinking about improving my kitchen, right??
it's just a great place for furnishings and towels and even handkerchiefs ok

They have everything, and I mean EVERYTHING !!!
a vision department where I can get a new pair of those specks, I mentioned...
or some gear for my car in the automotive section, like if I need an oil change
so please do shop at Sears would you, in the future from this day forward??

You all should shop at Sears...
But no one should be a Guidance Counselor...